Life is Good

Life could not be any better. Maddie started school as a big kindergarten girl. I can't believe she is 5 years old and in school ALL DAY LONG.

I was horrified at the notion of her being away from me all day long until I realized that maybe this was time God was giving me to be a better teacher and playmate to Greyson and Lilly and to get stuff done around our house. We spent all summer running from one place to the next and now it was time to slow down and get into a schedule. I have to say, much to my surprise I am becoming a domestic diva! Maybe not a diva but I am getting much better at being content to stay at home and not run all over town on twenty playdates. I do miss adult conversation!

Greyson is amazing us everyday. He went from crawling, to walking to running in a matter of days right after his first birthday in June and now can already go up and down stairs and say lots of short phrases like "all done", "start it", and uh oh. We think he might be brilliant!!!

Lilly is feeling like the big sister with Maddie gone all day and likes to tell Greyson what to do constantly. They fight pretty much non stop and then all of the sudden Lilly will do something really loving for him like give him a toy of hers or just go give him a big bear hug and it warms my heart.

Steve is still amazing steve- He has started a new job with amazing ease and seems to never complain over anything. He has bonded really well with Greyson- I think it is so fun to see him iwth a boy- It is a new dynamic in our family that is really cool.

On a more serious note:

I am adjusting so much better to life with three kids. I had a very serious depression when I came home from Ethiopia and would be glad to talk to anyone who has experienced something similar because it is very real. You feel alot of guilt over it and I think it should be discussed more by the agencies as something that could happen and how to deal with it.

I believe satan wants to use whatever he can to attack families who are trying to follow Gods and this was just my personal struggle. I know other families deal with other struggles of their own when they bring adopted kids home. i also know that God helps renew me each day to make me a better mother and that is the only way my feelings have changed.

All in all, God is Good and he watches over our family every day.

Last post on our trip to Ethiopia- Three months late

Days 5 and 6



Day 5

We were up early for our birth family visit day. Even though we had already met Tsegeye, the birth mother (not to be confused with Dr. Tsegeye the orphanage director), we were still going to see where she lives and Sidamo, the area where Greyson is from. Plus, we were paired with another family visiting the same area and they needed us to video their meeting.

Since Tsegeye, was going with us we were able to take the newer vehicle, a Toyota Landcruiser with only 3500 kilometers on it. That was a nice reprieve from surroundings in a country that are almost exclusively old and in need of repair.

I thought driving in Addis was bad………well let me just tell you………driving outside of Addis is even worse. It is best not to sit in the front seat because then you don’t have to actively participate in the game of chicken the driver plays each time he begins to pass another vehicle. Four lane highways do not exist in Ethiopia, at least not that I have seen. So, unless you want to be stuck behind a big, slow truck, you need to pass often. I used the “Oh crap” handle located directly above the door about 100 times in the first hour alone. As scary as that sounds, it was not the worst part of the initial 50 miles.

On the road to Awassa, the town we were going to, there are so many old, diesel trucks that it is literally hard to breathe. There are so many fumes that in addition to developing an instant case of black lung, my eyes were burning like the pits of hell in July. In July. Plus, as a bonus, you begin to feel the build up of diesel soot on your skin. It was not a pleasant first 50 miles.

We reached the town of Modjo, a crossroads connecting North, South, East and West. We were going west. Now something very strange happened the moment, and I mean the moment, we turned right to head west towards Awassa. It was as if we went back in time about 100 years. The road was still paved but the vehicles went from cold-war era trucks to donkeys, horses, oxen and occasionally a camel or two. I am not exaggerating here, it was really surreal. The donkeys are small little guys, no more than 3 feet high. Those poor little animals have a tough life. You should have seen how much they were pulling and bearing. Some of them pull carts with metal wheels, not tires. The wheels turn crooked like you occasionally see on a car in ill repair, only to a much worse degree. The wheels are hand welded using rebar as spokes and sheet metal as the outside of the wheel. From there they build wooden platforms which carry huge bags of grain or big jugs of water, sometimes 50 at a time. Obviously, some of the carts had to have more than one donkey.

The fields are plowed with oxen pulling a one-bladed plow. It looks more grueling than in the old spaghetti westerns. Plus, they have to plow one field multiple times to get all of the weeds plowed under and the soil ready for planting. They grow false banana, coffee, sugar cane, corn and chat. Chat, pronounced “chot” is a plant used to cause mild amphetamine-like effects when the user chews on it. It is legal here and in many parts of Europe. No, I have not tried it. Anyway, farming is apparently tough work in Ethiopia.

Let me tell you, briefly, about our traveling partners. Mike and Lisa are from Connecticut. They are just fantastic people and we like them very much. Lisa used to be a social worker but is now a stay at home mom. Mike is an Archeologist who has worked often in Ethiopia and is a professor in Connecticut. He was a great source of information because he has studied Ethiopian culture, both past and present, extensively. They have one little boy at home and their new daughter is 2 years old. Mike is a really laid back academic with a passion for what he does and Lisa has a heart of gold that comes out when she interacts with virtually anyone. It is weird how similar Lisa and Heather are.

We went through the Rift Valley, an area not unlike south Texas where I grew up. As we drove further away from the city and deeper into rural Africa the landscape began to change. Termite mounds, 10 feet tall were scattered throughout the fields. The countryside was still full of people, though. We never drove more than 100 feet without passing a group of people driving their donkey carts or pushing their goat herds. In fact, we stopped often to let a herd cross the road. Straw huts were scattered throughout the fields with naked children running about. I will discuss the huts later as we had a chance to go into one, in a remote village, during Mike and Lisa’s birth family visit.

As we approached Awassa the terrain became much greener, much more lush. The temperature dropped about 10 degrees and the air had a hint of sweetness from the trumpet vines growing abundantly on fences and buildings. Awassa is the biggest city in Sidamo, the region we were in. It is a town of about 100,000 people and seems much cleaner, much more subdued than Addis Ababa. We arrived at the agency office to meet with the agency social worker that coordinates all of the details with the families in the field. The agency office was in a government building made almost exclusively of concrete with no air conditioning. The office we went into was about 10 feet wide by 14 feet long. The door was closed and the three agency workers had been having a meeting when we arrived. Yes it was hot in there. The lead social worker was a very interesting character. He was a short man who began almost every sentence with “You see……..” We agreed that we would leave Tsegeye to stay in her apartment while the rest of us went to visit Mike and Lisa’s birth family.

Our trip to this small village was amazing. After leaving Awassa, we traveled over roads made from rocks and mud. We passed a couple of towns nestled in the hills. They were packed with people bartering and mingling. There were no other cars, ours was it. As we passed by, the kids would run along the car yelling, “hey, faringie, faringie!” “Faringie” means foreigner. They were happy and, more than anything, wanted us to wave at them. So, I waved a lot.

We met the birth father (remember this is Lisa and Mike’s birth visit) in the center of the small town before driving to the village. He was all dressed up for the occasion. He was wearing a polyester suit, brown patent leather shoes and a Nike ball cap. It was just so cool that he did his best to clean up and be a great host. He looked about fifty five, by our standards, but could have been much younger. We jumped into our SUV and began heading towards the village. This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. You get the same sort of feeling as driving in the Rockies. It is literally one of the most remote areas of the world and just so beautiful.

Before I begin describing the village please accept my apologies. I am simply not capable of putting into words how amazing this little part of Africa is. The village contained about 4 huts in a sort of circular layout nestled in a meadow surrounded by trees of many varieties. The colors of everything just seemed bright. Each hut was about 25 feet in diameter and had thick thatch roofs and straw walls. In the middle of meadow was common area of green grass that was short in length and really soft. There were many cows and goats wandering about and a crowd of villagers had gathered, expecting our arrival. It was cool and moist because this is the rainy season but the sun was out.

As we got out of the SUV, an elderly African woman came up and gave Heather and me a huge hug. Not just an obligatory hug but a hug that was obviously genuine……you can just tell when someone is real. She was the paternal grandmother of the child being adopted. She then went around and hugged everyone in our party. Because it was not our family visit and I didn’t ask Mike and Lisa for permission to share the details of their exchange, I will not share the specific details of the conversation that took place between the parties involved. Just let me tell you that it was great and that Mike and Lisa’s warm hearts were clearly evident to this family.

After they had their discussion with the birth family, we were able to tour the small village. First, we toured the hut where the family lived. As we entered, the first thing that hit me was the smell. It smelled like a camp fire…… you know, that smell you have on your clothes after going camping. They have a fire pit to cook over and, I assume, to keep the hut warm on cool nights. There is a half wall, woven of something similar to palm leaves. There were only two small beds; we assumed that everyone else slept on the floor. Now, realize that the animals live in there too. I am not sure how they kept it clean but there were no animal droppings that I could see and the only smell was from the fire pit. There was a back door which led to the crop area. It was very dark in the hut even though it was mid day outside.

The crop area was mostly False Banana which is used to create a powder that is a food source. There were also a few coffee plants and some other plants that I did not recognize and did not ask about. In the center of the village were all of the animals, as I mentioned before. The entire group helped keep the animals in line. A small but powerful memory for me is of a young girl, maybe 4 years old, whipping a very large cow with a switch to get it to move from the area she needed for peeling sugar cane. She was fearless and the cow obviously knew she was boss because it moved along without protest. It was a funny thing to see.

We left the area with one of the best experiences we could have ever asked to have. It met every fantasy we had about experiencing the African bush. The trip back to Awassa was uneventful as we waved frequently to the call of “faringie, faringie!”

When we got back to the city, about an hour later, we met up with Tsegeye. Though she no longer lived in the same apartment where she lived when Greyson was born, we were told it was almost identical. “Apartment” is the only word I could think of to describe where she lives. It is only a concrete room no larger than a prison cell, about 7 feet wide by 10 feet deep. Nearly half of the room is consumed by the twin size bed. Next to it, at the head end, is a small bed side table that held all of her earthly possessions. She had a small jam box, a few books, a bible, one little sliver of bar soap, a small mirror that was broken in half, some other random knick-knacks and a photo album that detailed much of her life. There was a small water basin hanging on the wall which must have been a bath tub, toilet and washing machine all in one. I have no idea where she gathers water. The room had one small window. For art work she had a picture of a Manchester United soccer player, torn form a magazine, hanging on the wall. We discovered in our conversation that she makes about 200 Birr per month, or about 20 dollars. Half of that goes to pay the rent and she lives off of the rest.

We found out that there was type-o and that Greyson’s father was actually only 25 and not 55 as we had been told. She showed us a picture of him. He seemed muscular and of medium height…. maybe ‘5 “11 or so. We also found out that while Tsegeye worked, a 7 year old girl would watch Greyson. Can you imagine? Plus, Greyson was only breast fed for 15 days. After that he ate mostly rice cereal, only receiving one can of formula during his entire first nine months of life. I began to get a little annoyed with the social worker as he interpreted these details for us because as he heard them, he sorted of had this look of disappointment. Maybe he just wanted to show us that he disapproved of the way she had taken care of him. I am not exactly sure what he thought she should have done. It is not like she had a lot of choices. Anyway, Heather and I wanted to double her income by giving her some money but we are not allowed. There can not even be a hint that a baby is being sold or it could jeopardize the entire program. After we get home we are allowed to send her gifts and such. I will make sure she never has to buy toiletry items again. A sliver of soap……that was all she had.

Before we left, Tsegeye really pulled on our heart strings by presenting us with some small gifts. While we were on the other family visit, she had purchased some brightly colored beads for each member of our family. For the girls, she purchased two small beaded bracelets. On the wrapping of each one she put stickers that said, “I like Maddie” and “I like Lilly”. Oh boy, I told myself…..don’t cry, don’t cry. For Heather, she had a long beaded necklace and for me a wide beaded bracelet. She put them on us and gave us really big hugs. We parted ways with Tsegeye for the night and headed to our hotel.

Hotel……..yeah sure it is. I am not sure the lodging facility where we were booked even lives up the word “motel” much less “hotel.” It was a compound of concrete buildings with white wash walls and dirt paths. There were huge trees that dotted the shared common area at the center. One of the trees had a sign loosely nailed to it which read “Nature”. We all got a big kick out of that. OK, the room was crazy. It was what you would think a hotel would look like in any undeveloped country…..dirty and old, painted with colors like pea green and dirty red. The room came complete with two twin beds wrapped in sheets that even Goodwill would reject. Each bed had a mosquito net hanging over it to help keep the little malaria spreading beasts from eating you as you slept. There was a TV which was surprising. Guess what? It had Al Jazerra as one of the stations. That made us feel safe. I was surprised to find out that it really is no different from CNN.

The bathroom was a hoot. When you flipped the light switch on, it flickered for about 10 seconds like in those horror movies. The toilet, bathtub and sink were all 1972 baby blue. The drains had that dark brown stain around them and were half-way rusted out. The toilet seat was being held together on one side by duct tape and there was no hot water. I am not making this stuff up…..ask Heather. You know what is really hilarious? This was our 10th anniversary night. Not exactly the most romantic of hotels but one heck of an adventure!

We reluctantly crawled into our separate twin beds and got under our nets. Heather put a shirt on her pillow in an attempt to avoid the lice she was certain lingered in her pillow. I just prayed for the best and closed my eyes.


Day 6

We woke up to find, much to our delight, no terrorist or man eating animals had invaded during the night. Neither of us had any mosquito bites, as far as we could tell. Still, we made sure, form that point on, not to forget our malaria pills.

Tsegeye was also going back with us to Addis Ababa since her mother was still in the hospital there.

On the way back to Addis, we drove through a national park. It was a really cool experience because we were able to see baboons, gazelle and ostrich. There were also these really cool hot springs bubbling up from the ground. The water spewing forth was about 160 to 180 degrees, as far as I could tell. It was too hot to touch for long but not boiling. This is where I saw an African tribeswoman with a spear! I paid her to take her picture. I am not sure if she really kept the spear for protection or if she only pulled it out when stupid Americans drove by wanting to pay her for a picture. I want to believe the former but who knows.

The rest of the trip back to Addis was uneventful. We had to go back through the same area of high traffic. About 30 miles away from Addis we asked the driver if we could roll up the windows and use the AC. He froze but we could breathe. Hey, I forgot to mention………Our driver was great but there was something really funny about him that we noticed. He was wearing pink women’s Reeboks. I guess that is all he could get his hands on. I guess it is just too poor here and at least he had shoes.

Back at the orphanage, everyone was getting ready for the coffee ceremony. The coffee ceremony is where the staff officially hand over the children to their new parents. It also gives the staff a chance to say goodbye to the children as most of us would be leaving within a day or two. Tsegeye spent an hour or so with Greyson before saying goodbye for the last time. It was great to spend time with her, even though communication was difficult. I didn’t see the final moments she spent with Greyson but I am sure it was difficult for her. Heather and I look forward to staying in touch with her and keeping her posted on Greyson’s life through letters and photographs.

The coffee ceremony was to begin at 4 but for some reason everyone was asked to go in at about 3:30……everyone but us. We didn’t really notice until we were the last ones out there and someone came out get us. As we walked in all of the other families and the staff started clapping. On the wall was a handmade sign that read something like, “Congratulations Steve and Heather on your 10th anniversary.” On the table were a cake they had bought and a card wishing us congratulations and good luck. It was really awesome. This was just a little more evidence that the people we met here, both Ethiopian and American were just great people.

The coffee ceremony started with Dr. Tsegeye congratulating Heather and I on our anniversary and sharing our wedding story with the group which he had asked us about prior to the start of the ceremony. We cut the cake they had purchased and began passing it out. They had two little wine glasses for us that had ribbons wrapped around the stems. They filled them with Coke for us and we had a little party!

Then the actual ceremony began. Dr. Tsegeye began by thanking us for helping these children and explained that they were entrusting us with their care. He explained that as a Christian, he believed that each family was doing the work of God and that he knew the children would be cared for. He asked that we teach each child about their heritage and culture and that we remind them of where they came from.

They had several of the non-adopted orphans come in to sing and dance for us. They were all dressed up for the occasion. Obviously, the very best of the donated clothing was reserved for this occasion.

A big loaf of bread was cut and shared with everyone and coffee was poured for all. In a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony like this one, the beans are roasted right before they are ground and the coffee is brewed. This process fills the room with an amazing smell. It is pretty cool.

A prayer was then led by one of the little girls who had yet to be adopted. It won’t be long though because she is about the cutest 3 year old you could imagine. Her little voice leading the crowd was amazing.

All of the children being adopted were brought to the center of a human circle made by the staff and non-adopted orphans. They began a process of blessing the adopted kids by singing a song. The words were the same except repeated over for each child using their name. It went something like, “Bless you, our brother, Greyson, we see you again.” They did it in English and Amharic. It was difficult not to get teary eyed while this was going on.

Then it was over.

We had a new child and we were on our own. We packed our bags and headed to the Hilton where we would spend a couple of days waiting to travel home and pondering the last few days of adventure.

Day 4

And the saga continues...
Day 4

It was another great day in beautiful Addis Ababa. The gang wanted to go shopping again, so we did. We discovered this really neat charity they have here while we were in town. It is called “Hope Enterprises”. They sell tickets to tourists that are good for meals. So instead of handing out money you can just hand out a ticket that will get the bearer a square meal. 8 tickets cost just 4 Birr or about 50 cents. We bought a ton and handed them out all day.

Greyson is doing really well. He still is not attached to us in a way we would like but seems to be doing pretty well. The nannies here are so great that he is really attached to them, which is to be expected. He seems very smart and curious. But as we would find out soon, we didn’t know the half of Greyson’s story.

Mulat, a staff member came to Heather and I and told us that there was a potential problem with our birth mother visit. Apparently her mother, Greyson’s grandmother, had been sick and Greyson’s mom came to Addis Ababa to be with her own mother but no one knew how to get in touch with her. Heather and I were distraught. We had been thinking and praying about that meeting for so long that we were really bummed that it may not happen. Dr. Tsegaye promised that they were doing their best to find her but that it may not be possible. Heather and I decided we would still travel to his town because we were hoping to meet his birth family and see where he was born even if the birth mother was not going to be there.

After lunch, the group decided to go to another museum. Heather and were not up for it so we reluctantly decided to stay back. As we were having a follow up conversation with Dr. Tsegaye, he once again reassured us that they were doing everything they could. As we turned to go back into the house his phone rang. We didn’t think anything of it until he said, “Heather……good news. She is here.”
We responded, “You mean here in the city?” and he answered, “no outside of the compound…..at the gate.” 30 seconds later she was walking straight towards us.

We were not quite sure how to react. This is the type of thing that you would like to be gathered for in advance but there was no time for that. Here she was. She is very young, only 22. She was attractive and very friendly. She explained that her mother was here in Addis Ababa because of a stomach condition and probably requires surgery.

So there we sat in the middle of the dining room ready to have our powwow. Heather began the meeting by attempting to read the letter she had written several days before. That lasted about a paragraph before Heather, and Tsege (mother) began crying. That is when I took over reading the letter. That was a much better plan. They both settled down a bit and we got through the letter. As I mentioned in my previous post, it was a very touching letter that Heather had written and it hit the mark.

We then gave her a chance to ask us questions. All she wanted to know was if we could bring him back in 4 to 6 years for a visit. We assured her that we would love to do that at some point in time but were unsure as to when it might be. Then it came to our questions. There were a few basics…..turns out there is asthma in Greyson’s family, no big deal. No other family medical history so that was good news. His father was a carpenter. Then we asked how his father died. This you will not believe.

One day, while in an area next to his region, a rival tribe came around. They did not like the fact that there were other tribal people in their region from another tribe. In fact, they disliked it very much. They killed 300 people that day and Greyson’s father was one of them. We do not know how they did the killing but we can only assume it was gun fire because they killed them all quickly and buried them in a mass grave. It was a tragic end for Greyson’s father and one that is too often repeated in Africa. Greyson was born 5 months after his father’s death. His mother, sensing that God’s hand must have somehow been in everything decided to name him “Yabsira”, meaning “work of God”. Heather and I sat, speechless for a few moments.

Then Dr. Tsegaye, the orphanage director and a huge saint of a man, told us that Greyson’s mom would be traveling with us to Awassa and return with us the next day to Addis Ababa. Unbelievable. Most families get, at most, an hour to spend with the birth parent(s); we were going to get 24. This was a real answer to prayer. For those of you who know Heather well, this was her biggest concern…..meeting Greyson’s mom. Every time we think God has outdone himself, he just keeps showing off.

As our meeting wrapped up, we agreed to let her spend several hours alone with Greyson in the compound, as it would more than likely be the very last time she would see him, at least for a very long time. We also gave her a photo album that contained various pictures of family members, our home, our church and the school Greyson will most likely attend. As she looked at a picture of Maddie standing on our deck, she commented what a beautiful school she attended. We had to explain that the picture was taken at our home not Maddie’s school. Just another realization of how blessed we are. We left some blank pages for the pictures we promised to send regularly.

Heather and I wrapped up our day by having dinner at the Hilton and a glass of wine afterwards. It was a relaxing night after what turned out to be a very emotionally draining but beautiful day.

Day 3

Here is day three of our journey for those who are keeping track.

Day 3

Today we shop! That was our goal as we got up and got going today. Plus, we wanted to see one of the museums they have here. It was supposed to be our birth family visit day but since that was rescheduled we had some time bargains and culture.

But before we got out there to find some African treasures… first things first! We spent a lot of good quality time with Greyson. For those of you wondering why the updates have been light on Greyson details it is because we have slowly been spending more and more time with him each day. They tell you that it is very important not to overwhelm with too much alone time but to slowly build up time until you leave. He is a really cool little guy. He has a serious side and is incredibly tenacious. He is also in to everything!

He seems very healthy with the exception on a rattling cough, which is pretty common here at the orphanage. He loves it when you tickle him and that is usually when he laughs the most. I was surprised to hear the head nanny tell me that she thinks he looks like me. It must be the round pumpkin head or something. Did we mention he has a voracious appetite? This kid can down Cheerios and bananas like no one’s business. His motor skills seem great. He is crawling and cruising around while standing. He can’t walk alone yet but it won’t be long. He still prefers the nannies to Heather and I but has never been upset about us taking him or playing with him. We took him back to our room for the first time last night and he was a bit freaked out by that. Overall, we are having one of the better bonding experiences compared to some other families.

So……we hired a driver for a half a day. Yonas is his name and he is the driver the orphanage uses. He is awesome. He drove us to the market where you bargain and he stayed with us the entire time. He would hold our bags and just made us feel safe. It was much like shopping at the markets in Mexico…..lots of people asking you if you wanted this or that. They really wanted to show us their tablecloths, not sure why but they seemed to be especially proud of them. After only a few stops he suggested we go to the fixed price store. Once we arrived I realized why he had suggested we switch….. I was not negotiating very well. I was overpaying at the place that was supposed to be less expensive.

The museum was next. The museum our driver suggested is at the Addis Ababa University. It was really cool because in addition to having some really cool stuff, it was the former palace of Ethiopian dictators. The last dictator was killed in 1966 in a revolution. You know how they bumped him off? They suffocated him with a pillow. Not exactly the violent revolt you normally picture. Anyway, it was an interesting experience. There is a lot of security getting into the university. Bombings have not been uncommon in the city in the last year. Eritrean based Al Qaeda groups have been trying to solve border disputes by bombing various Addis Ababa targets. So…. needless to say the security is tight everywhere.

The grounds of the university were really beautiful. About 10,000 students go to school there. They have just about every academic course of study we have here…. engineering, medicine, business and so on.

Our driver, Yonas, showed us much of the city…..the parliament building, the Prime Minister’s palace and the like. What struck us was the amount of poverty. We expected it but every day you are exposed to it, the reality of the people’s situation just weighs on you. As we went through different parts of the city we saw people in misery that is hard to imagine from an American perspective. Many people had injury induced deformities that caused them to walk in unnatural ways. Some were just malnourished and others were lacking for clothes. It was also easy to tell the people with later stages of HIV/AIDS. They had the typical sunken cheeks and empty eyes that you see on TV. Many people see Americans and beg……which is not hard to imagine. We hand out small bills where we can but you have to be careful. It is very easy to cause a mob scene here by passing out money or food. If you give something to someone, it can lead to a fight over whatever you gave or cause a crowd to gather around you. You just have to be thoughtful of the environment and be cautious when handing stuff out.

Yonas delivered us back to the orphanage safe and sound in his 1984 Toyota Corolla that had 266,000 miles on it. I asked him how much I owed him thinking that $50US would be a bargain. After all he spent 3 hours with us and drove us all over Addis Ababa. He charged me 160 Birr, or $16US. I couldn’t believe it. I, obviously, gave him more than that. For those of you curious about gas prices here, it is 7 Birr per liter, or about $4US per gallon.

This afternoon as we were spending time with Greyson, a couple came to see their child they had left at the orphanage a few days prior. They had returned to the city to sign the final documentation which relinquishes custody of the child…….Permanently. It was an uncomfortable scene to watch as they spent final minutes with the toddler they had given up. They were not overly emotional…you could tell they were trying to be strong. But there is no hiding a mother’s pain. As she looked at Polaroid’s the staff had just taken for them to take as keepsakes, you could tell she was in deep pain; pain that I am sure is reserved only for mothers losing a child. As she thumbed through the pictures, slowly, one at a time, it is like she lost all touch with the environment around her. She was completely focused or maybe even lost in the pictures that would be her only reminder of the child she could not keep as her own.

So, later that night we had dinner with the other families here at the orphanage. the food was, once again, amazing. After dinner, Heather and I learned a very valuable lesson. You want to know what it was? OK……….

NEVER…and I mean NEVER watch a movie about an African dictator while in Africa!

Heather and I had brought the movie The Last King of Scotland, a movie about the brutal reign of Idi Amin of Uganda. It really freaked us out. It was a great movie and if you have seen it, you know why Forrest Whitaker won an Oscar for his role as Amin.

OK, so that was our day. We hope all of you are doing well. We really appreciate getting your emails because they make us feel closer to home! The internet is amazing. Plus, we really want to tell everyone that we physically feel the power of your prayers. In a part of the country where we feel vulnerable, God has provided much comfort due to your prayers. God is truly amazing.

Day Two of our trip

Here is Day two of our trip back in may




Day 2 – Embassy Day

We woke up at 6:00 AM local time. We had to wake up because that is when the Muslim prayers are said over a loud speaker that is loud enough to be heard in England. Seriously, this is broadcast over speakers like we use at home for tornado sirens. Plus, this guy was on fire…..he went on for freakin’ ever. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying since, like most Imams, this one was not praying in English. This was the icing on the cake since it became apparent last night that roosters here crow even when it is dark and the neighborhood dogs enjoy barking only after 2AM.

Heather and I got dressed and went in for breakfast. The dining room is a neat room with two, huge framed pictures of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (they used this agency too). I asked if they would like a glamour shot of Heather but they didn’t really know what a glamour shot was. We were not quite sure what to expect for breakfast. It turned out to be great… French toast that was a little heavy on cinnamon but good none the less. The coffee here is absolutely awesome. This is the birth place of coffee so I guess it should be pretty good. Plus the people who work here are simply the best. They are more than accommodating and try to do the very best they can with what they have.

Oh, I forgot to mention the bathroom developed a very strong mold and mildew smell over night. We are having a really hard time with the bathroom. It is just really gross. Heather compared it to an epidural…..you think you can tough it out but when reality sets in, the pain is just too much! But we are managing. Also, I forgot to mention before that the toilet seats here are square. I am not really sure why but I can tell you this…..they are no more comfortable than the sandpaper Ethiopians call toilet paper.

OK, after breakfast we walked a block to the older children’s orphanage. Wow, what a great experience. The nannies here are just amazing. You can tell that they really love these kids. They are constantly picking them up or wiping runny noses. By the way, nose run like a raging river with these kids. I think it is just really easy for them to get little bugs. Anyway, in the older kid orphanage, there are about 50 kids varying in age form 1 and a half to 6 years old. They get so excited when you come to see them. They are like a mob, craving attention and hoping beyond hope that you are the one that has come to take them out of this place. Most of them seem happy enough given their circumstances. It is hard to miss the ones who are deeply saddened by their lot, though. There was one little girl that had just come to the orphanage a week prior to our visit. She is about 2, maybe 2 and a half. I am not sure that I have ever witnessed as much sadness on another human being’s face as I was able to see in hers. She was not interested in the hard candy the rest of the kids were fighting over. She just sat there in the middle of the room with a blank look on her face as if she still believed that this was temporary… that surely someone would be back to get her soon. Heather did her best to get her to laugh but was only successful in getting one faint smile out of her. I am not sure I will ever forget this little girl. I know it sounds cheesy to say something will haunt you but this might do it for me.

These are the lucky kids. We have already seen tons of kids who have very little. The orphanage is surrounded by tin shacks where people make their homes. They have rocks on top of the tin roofs to keep them from blowing off and they sit by side with only a wall separating them from each other. The walls are tin, paper or mud. These ghettos go on for blocks and blocks.

We spent some time with Greyson this morning, which was great. He played outside in a walker and was cruising around like he owned the joint. He is a very serious character. Not mad or sad just serious. He has a great disposition and is a joy to be around.

Lunch was wonderful, a good mix of Italian food and vegetables. I had seconds but not that surprises any of you!

Next came our Embassy visit. This is where all of the adopting families load up their new kids at the same time and cart them off to U.S. embassy workers to explain why you want to adopt them and obtain an entry visa for the child. Let me just start by saying that there was only two small vans for 8 families, seriously. There are no safety seats and no seat belts so you just kind of do it on faith. Greyson wasn’t sure about the whole ordeal and became a little fussy…..nothing a few hundred Cheerios couldn’t fix, though. Upon our arrival at the embassy, I have to admit I was a bit disappointed. It is not that expected a 30 foot bronze statue of the President or anything but I at least thought it would have a big American flag and a sign or something. There was nothing. You could have driven by and never known that the embassy was there. I think maybe they do that on purpose. No use putting a big poster of Bush out there to act as a target. Upon entering they did have a big picture of W flanked on either side by Cheney and Condi.

The appointment was uneventful and we left the official parents of Greyson. It was sort of an anti-climatic ending to a 14 month process but we were just glad it was done! God really came through for us.

Sorry none of you are able to see pictures. Our blog isn’t working here and the only internet they have is dial up. The pictures just take up too much space for us to send. We will get out a slide show upon our return.

Tonight we closed the day with dinner at a traditional Ethiopian restaurant where they had dancers performing the dances of some of the 85 different tribes found in Ethiopia. It was very cool. The food was unbelievable. It doesn’t look very appealing but it tastes great! It was pretty spicy, which Heather loved. The Ethiopian beer isn’t bad either. It is kind of a mix between a Pale Ale and a Wheat Beer.

In closing, we just want to let everyone know that they have moved our family visit to Thursday so we won’t be doing that on Tuesday as we first thought. A few families have already had their trips to meet the birth families and they said it was awesome. We are praying that our experience will be similar. Each adopting family is supposed to write a note that they read aloud to the family through an interpreter. Heather wrote ours and I have to tell you it is great. I hope Greyson’s mom is moved as much as I was when I read it.

All is well. The only problem we have had and are having is that we miss the girls so much it has brought us both to tears at times. We know they are having a blast and are in great hands but we just miss their sweet faces.

Okay I'm a Little Late

I am gonna start posting all our journal entries from our amazing journey to Africa-

Our family is great and God has been amazing to us- I have to pinch myself because sometimes I cannot believe how blessed I am.

Day 1

It began to hit me when we hit the departure gate at Dulles……. this isn’t Kansas anymore. The travelers waiting at this gate weren’t exactly like travelers I had seen many times before in my previous journeys, you know the ones where I launched KFC Snacker or Famous Bowls. These people were almost exclusively Ethiopians… on their way home or on their way to visit family. Some were dressed in traditional clothing while others were dressed in typical American casual. It hit me, that for the next 9 days… Heather and I would be the minority, a weird realization but not one that was particularly threatening just well, foreign to someone born in Pecos, Texas.

As we walked down the jet way to board our Ethiopian airliner I was relieved to see that no one was carrying crates filled with chickens or leading small farm animals by tattered make-shift leashes made of grass rope. These were the images we feared when we booked our flight on Ethiopian Airlines…...typical, I know. As we boarded, we could instantly tell that the jet was very new….. Thank goodness no chickens or goats. We headed to our assigned seats to find an older couple sitting in our seats. I am sure the woman could tell by the puzzled looks on our faces that she and her husband were in our seats. Speaking no English, she just smiled and waved us towards their assigned seats as if to say, “Just sit over there and let us have these.” Now, that would normally not be a problem except our assigned seats were completely rockin’ compared to their assigned seats. A moral dilemma for a couple on a trip to explore the possibilities of mission work later in life! So immediately, the thought that went through my mind is we should probably let them have our seats. After all, we are on our way to act as ambassadors, right? Fortunately, I guess we waited just the right amount of time with that confused American smile on our faces, (which must have conveyed that we were trying to be nice but……no way in hell are you getting our rockin’ seats!), because they just got up and went to their seats. That was good because had it come to a conversation, Heather and I would have been forced to give them our seats and that would have made the 15-hour journey really suck!

So we flew over the Atlantic, just south of England and right over France to land for fuel in Rome. We couldn’t see anything cool in Rome when we landed; I guess the airport is far from any cool buildings. Plus, I was wiped out and half asleep. In fact, I woke to a very loud Italian man standing right in front of our bulkhead, rockin’ seats, holding a dust pan and small broom. Did I mention he was loud? Next we took off towards Africa, right over Libya and into Egyptian airspace. The desert looks very strange from 35,000 feet. You look out the window and there is just a big brown/orange cloud of sand below you.

We then flew over Sudan. In fact, as I write this paragraph, we are smack dab over Khartoum, which is a little scary. Bad things are going on down there, very bad things. There are border clashes between Ethiopia and several of her neighbors including, Sudan, Somalia and Eritrea. These countries are having disputes within their own borders and with Ethiopia. Just last week, several Europeans were released after being kidnapped in a disputed border area. This is a little nerve wracking because on Tuesday (late Monday in the states) we will be traveling 5 hours towards Somalia to meet the birth family of our new son. Kind of a weird thought for a Bush-loving republican from Texas! What an adventure!

By the way, I could never be an astronaut. How do they pee? It is hard enough after being airborne for 10 hours to do so….I can’t imagine what it is like in zero gravity. Fortunately, neither of us has struggled with motion sickness……..maybe because we over-dosed on Dramamine. Man, that stuff should be controlled by the FDA. Two of those and its lights out! Maybe that is what makes it hard to pee.

I don’t know how Moses made it through the desert, well I do; God. But we are on our 2nd hour of nothing but desert below. Except for Khartoum……No roads, no water…..no nothing just sand and more Sudanese sand. Sudan….there’s a place you don’t want to visit. The only things going on there are war, poverty and suffering. The statistics are bad enough in the “stable” African countries like Ethiopia and Kenya. In those countries, 1 in 10 children die before the age of 1. The life expectancy for a man born in Ethiopia today is 48. Tens of thousands of children under 10 years old live, alone in the streets, in the boxes they call home. There is no one to care for them or love them…. they just exist. When I transplant Maddie or Lilly’s face onto their circumstances it is almost more than I can bear. I couldn’t imagine them living like that. If ever there were a place in need of saving grace it is Africa. The good news is that almost every church in America is responding in bigger and better ways than before. In our own home town of Louisville, churches as big as Southeast and as small as our own Adventure Christian Church are adding more and more mission’s projects and dollars to their programs. This is the church’s responsibility….. to feed the body and soul, everywhere. Amen!

Arriving in Addis Ababa was a welcome event. Coming in for our landing gave us a great bird’s eye view of the city. It is a weird mixture of big buildings and tarp covered shacks. It is a city of about 5 million people. We got off the plane and waited in line for our customs clearance. We quickly learned that things move at a slightly slower pace in Ethiopia. 30 minutes later we were through customs and immigration.

We loaded our belongings into a small van and our driver, Mulat, took off in the direction of the orphanage. The city televises big soccer matches from throughout Europe and Africa on a huge (and I mean huge) TV screen in one of the city squares. A match between Manchester United and Chelsea had just finished and the must have been at least 100,000 in the streets as we tried to make our way to the orphanage. It was so surreal that here, as many people will go see a European soccer match on a big screen as will see a football game live at home.

The drive was interesting, to say the least. I have driven in multiple cities in Mexico. I would never…. and I mean never drive here. It is truly unbelievable. There are 10-12 lane blvd’s that really don’t seem to have a middle line. Drivers here use a mixture of intimidation and sharp reflexes to avoid a stand still or a wreck. Funny though, there were no wrecks that I saw.

Arriving at the orphanage was a little spookier than we thought. We turned down this VERY dark alley off a main road and went for about a half mile. At about the mid point the driver honked his horn twice. A guard stepped through a huge steel door and stood there waiting……….for a sign you see. He was waiting for a signal that this was really a van for the orphanage. Our driver flashed his lights twice and in we went. Our driver unloaded our bags and showed us our room. I will discuss our room and bathroom in a bit because it is a whole story in and of itself. But first let me tell you about our fist meeting with Greyson. We went to the little nursery where they keep him. It was meager to say the least. The room had six miniature cribs in it and was no larger than six feet by 10 feet. The walls were concrete and the door just opened to the courtyard of the small orphanage complex. There were no fans or windows and it was a little hot in there. He was great though! He warmed to us quickly and seemed to have a good sense of humor. He is a bit smaller than we imagined but seems very healthy. Heather got him to start laughing and smiling about half way through our initial visit. It was a very cool time.

OK, as I finish this day’s events I just want to tell you about our room and bathroom at the orphanage guest house. We do have a king size mattress and that is good. The floor is indoor/outdoor carpet……you know, that green stuff that look like what would go on a pool table. There is no air-conditioning and no fans which is not too bad because the temperature here is in the high 60’s at night and high 70’s in the day time (the city is 8000 feet above sea level). The bed in our room has no mattress cover, just a sheet. So we decided to just sleep on top of our Velvet Elvis blanket and put the sheet over us. The god news is that our window opens up to a great view of the guard house.

The bathroom is funny. There is a small hot water heater sitting on a shelf in the shower. The electrical plug is right there too which is kind of hairy. The shower is one of those hand held jobs and the temperature is a bit hard to adjust. You have to keep your lips pursed because it is very dangerous to drink the city water. Just to be careful, I put a little toothpaste in my mouth during my first shower in case any got in my mouth! I know I am a bit paranoid but I am not fond of the idea of puking the next 7 days. The toilet has a little sprayer (like on your kitchen sink) right next to it. I guess this is the African version of a bidet. Thanks but no.

OK off to bed. It is 4PM at home and midnight here.

The Wait is Over!!!

Okay the wait is not quite over but we got an email today with the great news that we will be traveling the week of May 4th to get Greyson in Ethiopia!!!! Yippee!!!! It is all so surreal. The fact that there will be a little boy in our house or a new little person at all is so crazy and so exciting all at the same time.

My mind keeps racing back and forth from one thought to the next:

"How do I get three kids in the car"

"What do I do with a BOY???"

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"What if the girls freak out and don't like him"

" What if he gets sick when he gets home or a big worm comes out his nose"

"what if this blissful happy feeling I have just gets even better once I see him and hold him"

That is only the tip of the iceberg on all of my crazy thoughts. I am trying to figure out what to say to his mom when I meet her. What do you say to someone who gave up their baby because she literally had no means to take care of him. Do you say thank you? Do you say I will do my best to raise your son? Words seem so small in how BIG that whole conversation will be and how much I want to just say what a blessing it is that she has entrusted me with this beautiful little boy.

I need to let God take care of the what ifs and the fears and everything will be what He wants it to be.

Did I say how excited i was????